A bright and rainy day and San Francisco, almost like an average London day. 9 women sit in gentle quiet holding space for one another and their emotions.

Talk of acceptance of self, of nurturing of talents and compassion for shortcomings.

What isn’t strength isn’t weakness, it’s just not yet developed.

The resounding theme is self care, nurturing passions, and living a life by one’s own standards. No one other than Bowie himself embodied the beauty of heart in this typically described as “lofty” way. He made his way using his heart, soul, blood/sweat/tears and the list goes on.

David Bowie has always been one of my mega style influences. From the ridiculous to the minimalist, his conviction and confidence have always been alluring. Not to mention those eyes-best of both worlds, am I right?

It’s so funny, I found myself saddened upon hearing of his passing, yet not taken to tears until I thought lyrics in my head. The most poignant being lyrics from Space Oddity:

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating
in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today.

I think I first heard this song at 14 when my mom sang it in her post-divorce musical one woman comedy show. She had a band and back up singers. This was the only song in the show she didn’t change the lyrics too much, but the arrangement and the voices were so spectacular. I was enamored by the intricacies of this piece. Nothing I had yet heard, though it had been around longer than me! So futurist.  So grounded in the heart and visceral body, yet un-attached and ethereal.

Present day:
Everything. That’s been swirling in my head for the past few weeks, months, years in various states of depression and anxiety, has been related to achieving something beyond myself. I’ve been reminded that energy changes but does not get destroyed. That, if I want, I have to be eternally grateful for what I have. And that my intuition and inner strength is endless. Oh, and that the stars and space are very soothing to me, in their infinite vastness.

It is my job to create the life I love by creating, no one else’s. If I’ve learned anything from Bowie, it is to be myself in all the ways I can. But also to take risks to create meaningful art. To give to this world only what I can give.

Would you judge a fish on its ability to fly? ( or however that goes…)

So what, I never passed calculus. That’s okay! I have other talents. We all do! I can’t even tell you how often people say, “I could never wear that the way you do.” And I always wonder why not. I wear the things that make me happy. They build me up and support me like an old iron knight suit. They are my outward representation of the inner workings of my mind. Or, I’m just a walking gallery, my body my canvas.

I said to my dear friend, “but it feels shallow to be an expert at shopping for interesting clothing.” And she’s like, “it is your self expression.” Ding ding ding!!!

Here’s to the loving hearts, so big and full you don’t know what to do.
Here’s to the creative souls, feeling stifled by capitalism.
Here’s to the quiet ones, in a world of cacophony.
 
Your solace is your choice, never feel badly for feeling the way you do.

Make stuff. That’s my life job description.

Thank you, Bowie.

Here’s the official video, but I also created a pinterest board………. <3
(His newest album is so haunting. As are the videos!)

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