Oprah and the Queen of England have a lot of dough, and can buy anything they want. What do they want for Christmas presents? Your time, energy, and affection.
*I just realized Bruno Mars has a song about the two of them. Would he really be happier as a millionaire? What if he learned to be happy with what he has now?*
Christmas is about a feeling, and it’s not the fleeting new-toy-joy.
This has always been a bizarre time of year for me, because I was raised in a Jewish home without a Christmas tree, but I participated with my non-Jewish family in their homes. I’ve always wanted to participate in the gift-giving custom, but I’ve never had enough money to buy things for people that are really useful. I just bought little cheap things that reminded me of people. In fact, I buy people gifts all year because I want to give people things all the time–because I LOVE giving.
Yesterday I was avoiding my work and went to the mall to pick up some gifts/return some pants I thought my boyfriend would dig (not!) and started rattling off on my notes app on my phone. I had a weird epiphany and so many questions that I wanted to share, and see if anyone else feels this way.
Christmas is now an American (capitalism- yep, we made that) custom where we work ourselves to the bone all year, depriving ourselves of the every day joys because we want to make and save all of our money for the one time of year we see family.
We are stocking up for the winter. We are bracing for the cold
Eating dense, calorie-rich food in case we don’t get to eat again until next winter. Applying our winter coats to survive the harsh reality of staying indoors. Warm. With loved ones. Who we can’t stand.
We save save save to buy buy buy at the lowest price. We shower one another with gifts like the baby Jesus was showered by the three wise men. We treat each other as the messiah. The one son of a god we can’t see or feel, when overstimulated by all the pressures and expectations of 2014.
Making up for time not spent with money and gifts, symbols of energy.
Money is another form of energy. If you can’t give money or a symbol of money, you can give your time.
This year, I actually have the freedom to buy my loved ones gifts, but I don’t feel like they mean as much as something I could make or time I could spend.
I make things all the time. It’s how I live my life and make a living. So the thought of making presents really exciting but I’ve run into one snafu: no one wants junk, i.e. add more clutter to the madness.
Oprah and the queen of England: more than immense wealth in common. I saw Oprah speak live in November, and something really stuck with me. Oprah asks for words. She wants to know how much you appreciate her in words because, let’s be honest, she could buy anything anywhere in the world. If she wanted it.
And the Queen of England? Well, purchased gifts are tacky to her. The royals only exchange handmade gifts at their Christmas. (60 things you didn’t know about the queen!)
Are we afraid of not having enough? What would happen if we didn’t have the trendy sneakers that only last for a few months? What if we ate food that soothed our aching joints instead of our lonely insides?
Even the wealthiest people see past the material possessions. I mean, no, they don’t need or want for anything, but they understand the energy exchange. They see money as a tool, not a product. As energy, fluid and abundant.
How do we make gift giving more enjoyable? How do we put more thought into gifts? How can we give our energy?
Here are some ways I’m trying to use my energy in it’s purest form to give to people:
- For the elusive mother-in-law-mother-figure, I will make (and clean up) dinner on christmas day. On thanksgiving, she was in the kitchen all day. The day after, made us breakfast and then in the kitchen all day again! Plus she makes hundreds of gifts for everyone, and I feel like maybe, letting her sit down is a good idea- and this woman doesn’t want any more crap!
- For my mama, I made her something she said she’d wanted for a long time. It’s different than she initially wanted, but I know that it was too expensive to justify something that hangs on her wall. (I’ll tell you all after she gets it!) I have the gift of craft, so I’ve got to use my powers for good.
- For my dad, spending time with him, his new wife, and my half sister. I bought her presents, but they are things we can do together. I know she’ll get the coolest Barbie and My Little Pony toys, so I get her art projects. (Last year she got rainbow loom kits for days, and didn’t know how to use them…. neither did I, but after teaching art all summer at a camp, I’ve got it down!)
- Every year I miss out on this one because I am historically challenged in time management, but I love going to volunteer for organizations that feed people. My giant heart is tearing up as I write this because I cannot believe people go hungry all the time. I think I’m going to plan a project for next year (starting now, better late than never!) for collecting warm clothing, or getting all my knitting friends together to knit hats for people who live on the streets. Again, I’ve got to use my powers for good!
